Thursday, September 18, 2014

Lackadaisical Self Deprication

            I take my seat right as the final bell rings and just try to unwind from the exasperating morning when I hear from the teacher, “Okay class take out your homework.” Uh oh, are the only words I can compose through my blank face as I try to compose myself to ask others what the homework was. What was a time of unraveling turned into a time of stress and rapid chicken scratch on a piece of paper to try and turn something in. Depending on how much work was needed to do the homework and the level of determination I was feeling regulates on whether I try to do the work before the teacher comes by to check it.

            Sadly, it seems like I find myself in this situation almost every day. I guess you could call me lazy and you would probably be right because I am. My mom will do what seems like a routine thing for all moms by telling me how she loves me and how smart I am, but with a twist of calling me unmotivated. “Why don’t you push yourself and use your smarts in school to do well and not waste time on that stupid Xbox.” Would be a repeated lecture I would hear from her. I understand that school is important mom, but it is mundane and lacks excitement which my Xbox can offer me without handing out homework that miraculously materializes in the teacher’s mouth. Of course I just give my mom the old I will try harder next time speech just to get her off my back so I can go and not do homework.

            Unfortunately schoolwork is not the only thing that is effected by my inability to be motivated. I have seen cleaner rooms than mine that have gone through a tornado. There are just piles of candy wrappers and apple juice containers on the floor, however some wrappers did in fact make it into one of the empty Cheeze-It boxes. The constant flow of clean clothes creates a mountain range that consumes my spare bed. At the base of this mountain is a sea of linen consisting of my dirty clothes turning my bed into a raft of safety. My appetite also suffers sometimes. My diet thrives off of junk food and my mother and sister cooking for me. This cooking will usually turn into leftovers making it easy for me to just throw it into the microwave and nuke it. Sometimes even doing this seems like too much work for me to do for food. Don’t get me wrong I do know how to cook I just don’t want to put in the effort for it. Unless I can make something as quick as Ramen noodles I might just not eat at all until I am given food. This sounds bad because it is and I know it is but I still don’t do anything to try and fix this problem. After reading this you will probably feel like I am the laziest person out there, but when motivated I can do things quite well. To obtain this motivation however can be difficult and shows just how lazy I really am.